i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
