I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
