dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
