i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
