i don't like sucking hair
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
