If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
