i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
