that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
