Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize