You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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