I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
