Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We are two peas in an std pod
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
