I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
