I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
