ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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