I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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