Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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