how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm always down for nudity.
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