Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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