If that was your dad, he is hot
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I want to fling myself into the sun
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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