Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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