You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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