So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
