OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
