i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The air taste purple.
Randomize
