Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Randomize
