That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
