What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Randomize
