all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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