I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
