Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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