They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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