I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
