my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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