I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
