YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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