ya dads aren't the best wingmen
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize