I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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