You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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