Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize