Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
