Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
