is wine microwaveable?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
