the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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