at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
