During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
