All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
