i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
