Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
