he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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