can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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