You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
