I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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