Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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