My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize