Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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