So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
