would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
