well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we made out on top of his cat.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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