i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
